Monday, March 26, 2007

My usual escort called today......

ummmmmmm....I'm heavy haul remember. Escorts are NOT what you might think they are.

Barbara Chavez....whenever she's free I call on her. I particularly like her as High Pole. That's the little car scurrying along about a mile in front of BIG load a lumbering down the hiway. If the HiPole is much closer than a mile then either the truck driver or the escort don't know what theyre doing. Lumbering along at fifty five or sixty and being High and probably Wide, Long and Heavy you need all the room you can to bring it to a smooth and safe stop.

A mile is about right. That way when the HiPole tips the bridge there is TIME to do something. ....like stop.

Barbara is an excellent HiPole...........she's also pretty good as chase care. Oversize loads need either or both...depending on "stuff"

She's also sixty three years old or so....Indian...and wild as a hoot-owl. Not to mention stubborn as a coral full of mules. The Ragin Cajun calls her his "Wild Injun Gramma".

Pretty apt description...she's a gramma alright...had about eleven kids.

So....Barbara called and told me this story.

She has fairly credible witnesses to back it up.....are two texas hiway patrol what you'd call credible? Well.....yeah.....I suppose they are.

It went like this...from barbara's point of view she was heading east on interstate 40 east of Amarillo about forty miles. It was raining sheets....she could barely see.....creeping along in the right lane. She'd left her "load" (the oversized load, truck and driver) on hiway 70 south just a bit from the interstate...she had to fuel.

Trucks can go a thousand miles give or take on a fillup...escorts cant....hense the fuelup.

Anyway...from her point of view...she was easeing along heading east and all of a sudden her windshield wipers sprung straight out from the windshield...then vanished. Gone.

She cruised along for a few seconds....totally blind from the rain....the Ka-whump...thudda thudda. She said it felt like she'd hit a seriously really big pothole or bump. Curb maybe.

Then she stopped. Got out. ... and made a strange discovery.

She wasn't on forty anymore. Nope. She was in the middle of the road...sideways...on another road...about a half mile from forty.

Hiway patrol showed up about then....they'd seen it happen.

A toronado had picked her up.........and carried her half a mile to this particular road....then dropped her.

The only damage was missing windshield wipers and a missing radio antenna.

Swear to diety. ...and Barbara's very relegious. I'd distrust Dan Rather before I'd not beleive her... er....wait a minute...that's not saying much. Let's just say she's honest as can be ...OK?

So much so that the hiway patrol...after they made sure she was OK....went and personally purchased her some windshield wipers. ...thier own money. And THEN they put em on for her. How many times have you heard THAT happen? Guess they was in awe.

She claims the LORD was with her.

I can't disagree.

I told her to quit it.

Imagine her poor old Guardian Angle. Probably a total wreck. Probably called in help.

Barbara drives maybe a hundred thousand miles a year...much the same as a big truck. And she's AGRESSIVE. I seen her take a flag and whack a .........er.....maybe I better not mention that........well then was the time she ........no...better not say.

Let's just say she aggresively protective of her "truck"....and heaven help you if you endanger it...cause she aint.

I told her that during the tornado flight she probably had her guardian angle and three helpers...one on each corner of the truck....hanging on for dear life....wearing motorcycle helments , leather jackets (for protection agains the hail) and...flapping like mad....helping with the "flight of the Dodge Ram"....keeping her stable...making sure she land upright instead of upside down.

Half a mile thru the air....just like in "Twister".


I told her to go lock her self in a motel for a few days and rest.....she told me to mind my own business...or words to that effect.

Then I told her not to drive faster than her guardian angle could fly...don't drive at night....and stay away from thunderstorms.

She said she'd consider it.

What a gal.
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